If change is so good, why do I keep finding pennies in the parking lot?
--Because people don't like it.
Is there really someone out there "ugly enough to stop traffic"? And, if so, should we feel sorrier for the ugly person or the people in the traffic?
--The people.
If I shoot a monkey in the jungle and there is no one around to see it, would the monkey be angry?
--I would be if you shot me..
If someone fires a gun at their reflection in the mirror does it count as a suicide attempt?
--Depends if the mirror has ricochetting capabilities.
Is One really the loneliest number?
--Not quite, zero..
Why is there no canned water?
--Because there is cream of mushroom
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